one month on

So a month ago we had just started, the winds are howling again just like they were at the beginning of the school term and it jangled my brain and my nerves then just as it is now.

So I'm learning about informal learning... or rather through reading in to a little of 'How Children Learn at Home' by Alan Thomas and Harriet Pattison ~ I am finding there is a term for what we are experiencing! Our eldest in particular is very clear about what she doesn't or does want to do. The formal learning of my own schooled experience as well as my years as school teacher seems to not fit at all in to the home. And accepting like this is like falling through a vortex! A tough and tearful resistance is fighting inside me, the one that learned that you as adults need to Force children to conform, behave, understand and listen. The belief that it is only through these methods that children will be given the 'gift' of information and education.

Heavens no.

If their not up for it, their not up for it. And I am opening my heart as often as I need to remind myself to meet them half way and learn how they want to learn. Let them lead, no matter how hard this stubborn part of me wants to snatch back control and say Thats the Way to Do It! I'm praying a lot to the evolved parts of myself, of us all, God, Universe, to help me loosen my old beliefs. I instinctively know that the beliefs do not fit in this situation. It still feels totally right that we have moved away from school and just as I needed to fall through other old and limited belief systems to arrive at this point, I find myself doing the same thing now. And its no easier! Its still that stomach churning feeling as I swing higher on a swing or bounce on an unprotected trampoline. Letting go of control, releasing my resistance, trusting the flow of life. Trust