eye on the ball

I can often focus on what's not working which is what the last post was about. Now I'll swing the other way and celebrate the learning that has gone on in the last week. We are doing less structured stuff which may be why my mind is free to spiral off into its doubts! Another stage of deschooling I imagine.

Waterloo Park in Norwich. We sketched, we drew patterns, we caught insects, the girls played in the sand. We explored the effect of the sun on the different colours, materials, textures around us simply sensing with bare feet and hands. We caught tadpoles and brought a handful home who have had stories written about them, have been heavily researched in the library and on the web to make sure their environment is appropriate for continued growth.

Our biggest (I must find a pseudonym for these gorgeous kids!) prefers not to be taught. She likes to find out on her own. She starts and stops hundreds of thought trains in a day and once she's got her teeth into one she's off; reams of studying, picturing, describing. She has had success with a maths book but no other workbook so far.

Our middle is pretty much up for anything. She loves craft, cuddling and animals (not necessarily in that order!) She is happy to engage with most things we present to her, so much so that I want to hold back and let her find her own direction with things. There are four other family members who would present her with stuff all day, delighting in her amiability, but then she craves quiet time to assimilate and remember who she is.

We've written out a time line 1900 to present day looking at the different birth years of close friends/family.

We've read, written, counted, sang, danced, stretched, weeded, planted, watered, cried, laughed, been thankful, been sad, fought, hugged, hidden. We've cooked, eaten, watched, listened, created, travelled, played, imagined, dreamed, typed, phoned, swung, batted, discovered, asked, rested.

Its nice to see that written down!

firemonkey

So the dynamic in this house has reached a shift point again. We have a middle who's possibly looking at returning to school in September and an eldest who's displaying really tired, manic growing pains. I only just looked at us today and realised how much of a storm we're appearing to be. One calling out (unconsciously) for major simplifying, back-to-earth stability while the other is reaching out for more stimulation, more people..

And how can we provide that as home educating parents? I'd love to know your thoughts.

My intuition says that the key is in communicating as a family, finding a space to talk a little about our differing needs, make some plans where the one who's craving to get out can get out and the one who has burnt-out can have some quiet time. And in the mix is the three and a half year old!! One minute the cuddliest, most thoughtful, cooperative bear.. the next, screaming that he wants a sweeeeeett for half an hour.

Surely this is where the richness is, I can feel it as I write that this is the thick of life, human relationships, learning to live together. But maybe its too heavy for Middle? Maybe she'll get a break by  going back into a classroom? Or will she just pick up loads of other family madness and not have the support to process it all?

One thing as a mum I would like to let go of the assumption I have carried with me that I need to answer all their needs. Just me. Its time for that one to head for the door!!

And yet I want to do enough to support them, help them find what they need (at the same time as making sure my own needs are met and my relationship is functioning well!) No small task!

Wow, mums are ace. Trusting all shall be well.

Talking sticks are not for hitting.....

We haven't returned to family meetings again for a while... Was idyllic to think that they'd just flow forwards. Children sitting comfortably, able to express their needs, their insights while calmly passing the talking stick between them, while we all listen respectfully to each other. Wow what a lovely idea. We'll work on it.

Our lifecoach Sally Lever reminded me recently that children don't often have the phrases or articulation to find and communicate whats on their mind. It is in these frustrating times when they are acting up and crying out for attention that compassion steps in as we try to help them decipher their feelings. I haven't found the moment to do this yet with our recent bubbling-over, but I'm one for returning to Love whenever possible. Love for my own parenting choices even when they may not have been the best ones, Love for the process of nurturing even when bleak anger flashes through our home, just Love.

control freakery!!!

Communication has been breaking down in this house of ours : pinching, snatching and arguing is back in force amongst the youngsters ~ also we have a strong pull towards the 'Telling Each Other What To Do' trend. Panic ensues occasionally as our eldest slips through our grasp like a slippery fish, avoiding answering any tasks, ideas or shared learning opportunities.

On her own, she's on fire! Gallops ahead with idea after idea, writing reams on her chosen projects, stacking up tadpoles, tea stalls, cooking projects. But a slight breeze of attention from a parent and the spinning top veers from its axle.

Letting go letting go letting go is the theme. Trusting we'll find an equilibrium again soon.

wobble number seventy-four

I wonder if this was my last wobble of our first year's home educating. It peaked in that week after Easter when schools were back in and we weren't quite in our rhythm yet.

Chaos I think was the cause. And I'd like to learn to love chaos if at all possible! Much is there in its midst to grow and develop through - it is a time when all roads present themselves... ooo I feel a song coming on!

George Harrison: Any Road

I love this: there is such peace in remembering that each footstep takes us to the same place essentially. Whatever will be will be.

In the moments which can stretch to days where I doubt our choice or I have a niggle about one of the kids perhaps not being best off, whether I Fret or not, moments and days continue to unfold and the moment passes. I trust that if the moment did not pass I would naturally act on it.

This time my path crossed with a friend, mum of 5 school-goers, who's youngest brother was home educated when she herself was in her late teens, twenties. She simply said, you've got to give it a few years really to know haven't you? And in those words I found the peace I was looking for (still my occasional need to be given permission to do what I'm doing, sure, and maybe thats how I managed to conjure up just the person I needed to deliver the line!!)

There's only so much that the human brain can grasp, thank heavens. Rational thought tends to tie me up in knots. Going with the flow is my favourite. Its all practice.