The Pregnant Pause: part one

Sunburst putting shoes on our 'pretend-new-bubba' - we'll announce her screen name in when she arrives. Last few days or weeks now, children are being amazing as we go through this transition together - I have a new burst of love for home ed and the gentleness with which we can continue learning, any time of day, during this big life change. A medley of work, play, rest, cuddles, questions, laughter, more questions, trying out new things, finding our way together.

Blackberry has been crocheting chains as bracelets. She would like to learn how to do the Granny squares I've been making, but acknowledges that this may be hard when she doesn't like to be shown directly how to do something!! She has been trying free-style crochet (stick the needle in anywhere, yarn over, and pull through) which so far has made her a beautiful heart shape so perhaps she'll happen upon Granny squares via a new route! Also quietly observing rather than have a 'teacher's commentary' works well for her.

This is Elderflower visiting one of the souls we share our lane with. She would love to visit some dolphins and whales which may be a bit tricky in this country!! She's been into ants and minibeasts but the cold snap has come back to stop us from exploring any further. Bring on the warmer weather :) 

Shining the torch on the things we live with

Hi Blog-friends, 

Please could you share your thoughts/experience if you get a moment - I would love to know what you think about this.

Guilt - where does it come from? how does it serve us as parents?

When was the last time you felt guilty for something? What do you do with that feeling?

Bit cheeky of me I know, but there's this list of things I'm fascinated about at the moment and the words just aren't coming together so I'd really love to do some listening.

Over to you:

Yes Yes Yes!

'Well you never hear someone looking back and saying they wished they'd been at work more! You hear them saying they wish they'd seen the kids more!'

How refreshing to be greeted by this response to the 'Is it still half term?' -type conversation (ie. why are your kids not at school today?). This was our optician who delighted in the presence of the girls at my eye examination this week feeling that he and his wife would've loved to give it a go all those years ago.

Its that Yes! response again which I am a total fan of. I hope to use it more in conversations! Its such a nice way to be together as humans.

I've been grumbling and feeling stuck, this time with Papa W, and had tried to get this down on paper over the course of a day (you know, in and out of fir cones and baking, dolphins and gemstone specification, lunch, breakfast and laundry!), 4 sides it stretched to. Only to arrive at a place where this bit of paper felt so stale, so horrid I couldn't bear to present it to my DH as a constitution for action!

So I screwed it up and put it on the wood pile for starters.

Then I chose a pink piece of paper and wrote 'Blessings' at the top. I used a ridiculous amount of smiley faces - one after each totally awesome thing about my life, and once I'd started they kept coming. It started with Elderflower :) Blackberry :) Sunburst :) and comfortably rolled forwards.

Three-quarters down my page and I still hadn't been able to get an awesome thing about my relationship, though I could sense I was on the edge of the cliff of sorrows ready to jump and soar through that hard bit of letting go of pride or the need to be right. Still, pinpointing the blessing in those difficult feelings wouldn't come.

And then Bam there is was: The power to forgive and let go :) smiley. Able to go with the flow :) smiley. Able to find solutions :) smiley. Able to reflect and notice what feels wrong :) smiley.

Those were the blessings, I didn't have to suddenly turn around, flood with love and right off all the petty yet crucial itemisations I had discovered. But I could open to my ability to let go, and trust my ability to navigate through.

I started off by wallowing in No NO NO until it was totally sour and putrid. This was a necessary part for me. Then switched to Yes yes YES and here came the healing keys. So that's my learning for the day. All growing together.