Its raining hard on my washing at the moment. Its 4am. Solly woke an hour ago wanting the landing light on and my brain has decided its time to get up! Hopefully temporarily, enough time to share and drink herbal tea, then snooze again!
I'm pretty grumpy at the moment and whilst I might have saved that information from my blog a month or so ago, I'm going to share it all with the group today!
The decision about whether or not middle has some school days in her week: we have a school about 15 miles away in a village who's head encourages flexi-schoolers (i think there are 11 out of a total 37 there being partly home edded). Could be a happy half way point to try out.
It brings up loads of stuff though for husband and I. For me there's a comfort in thinking we might do it - and its the weirdest reason. Not because I necessarily think it'll be best for Middle (although in the short term its good to give these things a go) but because they'll be a fixed point or two in our week where someone else is doing the organising. I sometimes find the sheer weight of hearing and going some way to answering everyone's needs (let alone my own) just phenomenal. Its all practise.
Muddled in with that is trying to Guess what others are needing! I think I do this a little too much. I worry they're missing something and swoop sleuthlike on the perceived problem with strategies for sorting out. Some might say this is a clear sign that my own needs aren't being met: If I spent as much time engaging with what I need and reaching out to meet those needs, I would be modelling the behaviour I'm looking for which is clarity in expression, learning to ask for what we want and finding the answers ourselves.
Stuff has taken over our house again, the waves of simplifying are tough. We are like magnets it seems and attract shed loads of objects from the outside world to clutter our living space. The book says be strict to start with. I'm not very good at being strict.
Also, there seems to be this massive time delay between where I see ourselves and where we actually are. Create Your Own Home Ed style. Sure, the potential is exciting, the reality when it works is real, life affirming delight. But as for the times in between its hard work when we never really know how OK it is except for the fact that we'd rather be doing it than not doing it.
And maybe thats enough. How do you do it longer-term home edder goddesses? How do you know this is the right thing? And if you don't (know) how do you keep the task a manageable one?
Love and cinnamon tea, the star in the west.
I find home edding seven days a week super hard work but the alternative of full time mainstream school seems crap! Maybe that's all in my head because I've been reading too much unschooling literature now to be able to rationally accept that in fact, school is not always, in every last case, bad for your soul, full stop. There's some pretty extreme literature out there that can make anything less than unschooling seem like child abuse. Ditto AP stuff. I think it becomes really dangerous when any group of people become convinced that theirs is the only way and I know I have walked on that path at times and now prefer to respect diversity and multiple truths rather than just one. I know the school you're talking about, I have two separate friends whose children part time there, and both families are super happy with it! They're both on the yahoo forum we use. Kids are really nice natured- switched on, bright, grounded and lovely. The head there is very progressive. I have been thinking of moving nearer and considering flexi schooling for ourselves - it's the only school I know of that's as progressive and positive in the area. Maybe we'll be there at the same time, who knows!!! X
ReplyDeleteYes we're at two ends of a massive spectrum where not many options seem to be in the middle! We're going to look around the school after talking to one of the lovely women we have in common, its good to gather information and let whats to unfold, unfold. Thanks for your thoughts, yey who knows, I gotta feeling our paths will cross one of these days! x
DeleteIt can be tough, can't it? All that wondering if we're doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Motherfunker that some of the educational stuff out there can be very rigid and none of us need that. It's important, in my book/computer (!) to be real with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses as an individual. I do need some rhythm to my week so we have a couple of regular activities (that Cupcake likes) and are thus developing a complementary pulse to our lives. Of course, it will continue to change and none of it is set in stone. But certainly in the winter, when I'm prone to get defeatist, having those couple of scheduled weekly events saves me from feeling too much overwhelm. Of course, the events don't have to be outside classes - they can be a regular family movie night/ science morning/ nature walk/ baking session/ playground visit/ art day/ etc. Yep, if it works for the child, it could also be some flexi schooling (or even full time school if that's their passion).
As I see it, we can't wholly know whether our child/ren appreciates any order or regularity unless we offer that (in an unattached way). Unschooling, for me, does *not* mean being vague and non-commital. Nor does it mean abandoning any core activity that keeps *you* sane enough to continue the HE journey. Rather it's about openness to our inner voice, attention to the inner lives of our child/ren and a willingness to be flexible (if imperfectly and sometimes reluctantly so!)
Whatever you do Weststar, I'd say don't beat yourself up about it nor go the other way and justify it. Just do what you do and leave the rest to Mother Nature and Old Father Time to judge. oh yeah, and say "Ner, ner, ner, ner, ner" to anyone else!
Yey, thanks for your thoughts Lily. I totally agree with what you've written and appreciate your take on it. A lot of this is a massive life learning curve for me!!
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