I have sat at many points on the opportunities seesaw. What opportunities do we want for our children? To fill them up with everything that comes our way, to install in them a religiousness to their attendance at skill-building workshops because they might need them one day? To have a chance to do the things we didn't do as kids?
I remember bending over backwards to give Elderflower the chance to try out 'toddler tennis' when she was 4 - Blackberry then 6, to school, Sunburst, then half a year or so into a friend's arms at home and we two would snatch this 45 minutes session in the school hall at 10am each Wednesday. I was at that time keen to 'fill them up' with stuff that sounded good. Well everyone else seemed to be doing it.
Blackberry tried an after school club for a few weeks too. Again, everyone else seemed to do it and this musical opportunity was being poured full of government money with young keen musicians leading the show. Picking her up at 5.00 I chivvied her along, oh it'll be fine come on, you'll enjoy being able to play the violin.
We've tried Rainbows too. It was great for a few weeks, then flop.
Do we lack backbone? No, I think we simply are letting them lead, trusting their decisions. It is quite a hassle getting them places, which I'm more than happy to do if the place feeds them. But if they don't like it why would we push it for now?
So true! I had sort of same reflection with sports: sports classes over here are so late usually finishing around 8 p.m. Our sons went to for some time and then I started thinking about the hassle and they noticed it too. Now we just do sports for ourselves, fitting into our routine and we do more than when the sports classes were organized.
ReplyDeleteHi CCETSI :) Yes maybe the interest in the classes is just a sign that we need more of a particular thing in our lives and there are so many imaginative ways of getting it that can fit into our schedule without the added hassle. Weststar x
ReplyDeleteSo right to let them choose! I also worry sometimes about Cupcake's low level of scheduled activities - however, if you ask her, she's fine with it all and rarely wants to be out and about for more than a couple of days in a row.
ReplyDeleteI recently met someone whose 9 year old daughter has extra curricular activities five nights a week after school with two activities on one of those nights) plus a whole day of scheduled competitive activities on Saturdays. I was exhausted just listening to that child's commitments and then I found myself wondering if we should up the ante! A short talk later with Cupcake set me straight and my temporary desire to fit in (as infrequent as it is!) just melted away.
How did we get to craft such a society as this, where it's expected that children will be occupied with outer-directed activities for 10 to 12 hours a day, most days?
How indeed? There are many theories about that!!
DeleteI remember my own childhood with something every night after school or after teatime. Its been a revelation (yet again!) that these unfolding, vibrant beings simply don't need all that stimulation/external feeding (neither do I as an adult!!) - in fact absolutely it can hold them back from finding their own way.
Cupcake knows what she needs!! Lucky her that you're listening and honouring this, and not confusing it with other pressures there might be on mums to get as much time away from our little ones as possible.