Shopping with Blackberry

Ah there's nothing to beat one-to-one time. We are getting there with respecting each child's (and parent's!) need for an opportunity to be *alone* with an other. We find that if we try to structure it too much (you this week, your sister next week) there is too much room for 'Its Not Fair!!' explosions.

And today was a great example of how seizing the moment can work.

I had two whole things I was going to do On My Own in the city and Blackberry was invited to a friend's house. So we drove in together, did a couple of jobs - then we had a few hours apart, then we did the supermarket shop together and had the journey back.

Now in a family of 5 where for the most part we jiggle along side by side, that truly is maximum one-to-one time :)

Shopping was a lot of fun. B is growing in confidence, scooting from aisle to aisle and then catching up with me - this used to be unheard of as she would have anxiety attacks being separated from me. We shared ideas about up coming menus and plans.

At the end of the day she is oozing self-contentment, having been able to carry out a number of her projects with maximum attention from me (and she doesn't need much, just to be able to check a couple of things as she goes along - if I do this with the printer will it work? where do I find an envelope?) The journeys allow the unwinding time for questions to surface as B works through things that are on her mind. 'Mum I really don't want to go back to school'. We are more familiar with each other's shape, more mindful of how we each are.

And I arrived home to my inbox containing an email from Elderflower inviting me to a one-to-one walk in the woods soon 'just me and you'. What an offer!

In an ideal world, these opportunities would come up frequently so that we don't all arrive at the desperate need to be alone with an other at the same time!

How do you fellow mamas and papas seize or create the opportunity to be with just one of your children? Does one of your kids seem to need this more than others? Or does is go through stages?

x A x