Lower the anchor, simplicity as stable roots

I'm in to repitition at the moment... Started reading Mary Poppins again (and I might miss out the zoo chapter this time - have you read that?!!) much to the kids comfort. Its not like they're joyful about it or anything, its that they haven't really noticed, and I figure its not about the story, its about the prose, its about my voice, familiarity.

Picking up the subtle signs of comfort. Biggest telling her friends in Sunday Club that "Mum's reading to us", middle and youngest lying in wait for the next instalment. Its new for me to be reading 'proper' books to them and I'm not going to rush it! When so much is changing in our dynamic still (will we be including school next year? what working pattern will each of us parents find? which combination of children are with which parent at what times during the week... lots of change, trial and error, finding our balances), I'm keeping as many roots down as I can. Some stable parts of our day where we touch in to familiar ground.

I know that there are times in my own month when I can assimilate new ideas, stories, influences and other times when I just need to tread water. Ebbing and flowing. I'm carefully learning when not to push myself! See my garden (I will start attaching photos soon), still leagues behind the allotments that have inspired me, but massive steps on from last year. I can get so impatient, but you know what? phenomenal shifts are occurring all the time, even when it feels like we're moving backwards!

I read a beautiful reminder once: At the same pace that we are galloping towards our dreams, our Source, our evolved higher self, so Source is galloping towards us. Picture angels on horseback rushing to be with us, to realise our wildest aspirations, of union with All That Is.

A fab game I've refound from The Daily Groove and Dreaming Aloud - is counting the blessings, listing the things I am grateful for in the last week. (A great game to share with kids too, prompted by Sally Lever) Wow, yes alot of people have pointed me to this one in the last week !! Obviously didn't listen to one of them on their own!

This week I am grateful for: 

@ reading other blogs and feeling encouraged to keep sharing my own and developing my own style :)

@ a great natter with a friend today, a safe off loading and sharing moment in the thick of kid activity

@ a colin firth moment yesterday evening

@ a note from my biggest today (who often expresses herself with anger and frustration) saying she'd had a nice day

@ time to be with each of my children yesterday for half an hour each, they each understood to stay away when it wasn't their 'slot' allowing us to play with our dynamic

@ our lifecoach standing present through unlimited email time as a witness and support for our relationship

@ friendly happy staff at the petrol station when i realised i'd forgotten my wallet

@ having enough money for what we need

@ having time late into the evening to potter outside in our unfolding garden



Blessed Be :) x

Just Get On With It!

I feel encouraged to speak honestly about my experience, so am continuing to try to 'get it out' (!) so to speak.

I want to move past the place of questionning home ed. Our first year shows me it most certainly is a viable option. Research shows that children thrive well through this method of preparing them for the world.

It is hard work though!! And it means bending and moving with the times, listening to each of the children, as we do to each other in the adult partnership to get needs met.

In the spirit of Getting On with It! and not airy fairying around talking about it anymore, (we are approaching the end of our first year), I have some dreams about how I would like this to be. At present it is still a radical choice, although I'm not sure how much longer this will be the case. I see school needing to come back from its extreme point on the scale and then home ed can naturally do the same. I'd love the kids to have some of the school experience just not in a 5 day a week kind of a way where many other vital experiences are pushed out.

I'd like group activities with other families that are led by one adult (without needing to pay for it!)

I'd like to see friends daily, weekly regularly, in and out of our normal routines, weaving in and out, no big deal, just together sometimes. I'd like to feel flexible enough to accept opportunities when they come, seize the good weather, the unique moments.

I'd like to not be so reliant on the web, have a bank of resources and ideas that are not always about me tapping into this screen. (I guess I need to simply switch it off!)

I'd like to maintain the stamina to introduce new things, remember to invite and ask involvement from others, remember that quieter patches are needed in the flow of life, its not Do Do Do every day for anyone, or if it is, illness or events will conspire to Stop Stop Stop eventually!

I'd like to learn to trust the ebbs and the flows, the quiet and the noisy, the many various ways we all choose or chose to raise our kids. No two journeys are the same. We can listen and explore and still hold our own course. The decision to do this was not one taken lightly.

I am immensely happy that I've had this chance to learn about myself and my family this year. I am impressed that we had the courage to try this road out for size. Having close contact with the children can only be good for their development. I trust that we will continue to build the experience that we each need to grow and thrive.

Less and Slower

I've copied a bit from our private blog here (is there any such thing as a private blog?!) - its the place where I don't withhold their names and am literally charting where they are each at with their learning. I think if I find pseudonyms to use for them I might just attach the blogs together, trusting that after this initial year of change and transformation, there will be a gentler flow of learning for me to share aloud in blogworld.

There are many great blogs literally explaining day to day happenings in home educating families, some of them are on my blogroll. I love being in touch this way and sharing experiences.

A new plan of ours is to have more one-to-one time with each of the kids. It has already strengthened the link as I've had a few hours each with the girls this week. Time to follow their particular interests and loves. Hopefully the more frequently it happens, the less of an 'event' it will be and these times will add in to the gentle tapestry of how we grow and learn together.

I'm reading Mary Poppins to them all at bedtime which is working beautifully, they're all in to it. I'm intending to simply start at the beginning again when we finish as I'm really embracing this idea of Less. Where before I have wanted to pour information into them, stretch to the highest mountains in search of books, experiences, now I want to hold back and let them climb their own mountain. The world around us can hurtle and flash its lights at us as much as it chooses! We're going to grow our way in our own natural timings.

There is no way that I can know precisely what they need to know for their individual growth (though I'm the best placed person to guess if it is needed!). We write, we read and we do numbers - that much is agreed. The rest is flowing moment by moment and it feels good to trust that. If I find myself worrying about their development, all I need do is stop and listen. The evidence is right there in each question they ponder, each expression they experiment with, each idea they follow.

Wow, thanks Mum!

This was the response to the third wave of simplifying in the kids' bedroom - it could have gone either way!
Literally hundreds of books have been moved into storage (gulp slightly damp shed!), fluffy toys also, dvds from downstairs, and two thirds of the dressing up wardrobe.

There is wave 4 to come, movement of games cupboards downstairs, but I'm going to need back up for that one! Its taken days to get this far!

We've been reading 'Simplicity Parenting', a straightforward and quality read :) Already as we start implementing the suggestions, we can see and feel it in the family. I can't believe I didn't see it before! Kids don't need toys - well not millions of them anyway, or books. They have a few at a time in their room and then we can swap for the ones in storage as we go along, probably learning more about what they really want to play with along the way.

And clearing out feels so good, accompanying the massive changes that are still taking place in this home, making way for the new.

A favourite phrase from the book: the best thing we can do for our kids is often to stay out of their way. Another little project for the parents to be working on...!

eye on the ball

I can often focus on what's not working which is what the last post was about. Now I'll swing the other way and celebrate the learning that has gone on in the last week. We are doing less structured stuff which may be why my mind is free to spiral off into its doubts! Another stage of deschooling I imagine.

Waterloo Park in Norwich. We sketched, we drew patterns, we caught insects, the girls played in the sand. We explored the effect of the sun on the different colours, materials, textures around us simply sensing with bare feet and hands. We caught tadpoles and brought a handful home who have had stories written about them, have been heavily researched in the library and on the web to make sure their environment is appropriate for continued growth.

Our biggest (I must find a pseudonym for these gorgeous kids!) prefers not to be taught. She likes to find out on her own. She starts and stops hundreds of thought trains in a day and once she's got her teeth into one she's off; reams of studying, picturing, describing. She has had success with a maths book but no other workbook so far.

Our middle is pretty much up for anything. She loves craft, cuddling and animals (not necessarily in that order!) She is happy to engage with most things we present to her, so much so that I want to hold back and let her find her own direction with things. There are four other family members who would present her with stuff all day, delighting in her amiability, but then she craves quiet time to assimilate and remember who she is.

We've written out a time line 1900 to present day looking at the different birth years of close friends/family.

We've read, written, counted, sang, danced, stretched, weeded, planted, watered, cried, laughed, been thankful, been sad, fought, hugged, hidden. We've cooked, eaten, watched, listened, created, travelled, played, imagined, dreamed, typed, phoned, swung, batted, discovered, asked, rested.

Its nice to see that written down!

firemonkey

So the dynamic in this house has reached a shift point again. We have a middle who's possibly looking at returning to school in September and an eldest who's displaying really tired, manic growing pains. I only just looked at us today and realised how much of a storm we're appearing to be. One calling out (unconsciously) for major simplifying, back-to-earth stability while the other is reaching out for more stimulation, more people..

And how can we provide that as home educating parents? I'd love to know your thoughts.

My intuition says that the key is in communicating as a family, finding a space to talk a little about our differing needs, make some plans where the one who's craving to get out can get out and the one who has burnt-out can have some quiet time. And in the mix is the three and a half year old!! One minute the cuddliest, most thoughtful, cooperative bear.. the next, screaming that he wants a sweeeeeett for half an hour.

Surely this is where the richness is, I can feel it as I write that this is the thick of life, human relationships, learning to live together. But maybe its too heavy for Middle? Maybe she'll get a break by  going back into a classroom? Or will she just pick up loads of other family madness and not have the support to process it all?

One thing as a mum I would like to let go of the assumption I have carried with me that I need to answer all their needs. Just me. Its time for that one to head for the door!!

And yet I want to do enough to support them, help them find what they need (at the same time as making sure my own needs are met and my relationship is functioning well!) No small task!

Wow, mums are ace. Trusting all shall be well.

Talking sticks are not for hitting.....

We haven't returned to family meetings again for a while... Was idyllic to think that they'd just flow forwards. Children sitting comfortably, able to express their needs, their insights while calmly passing the talking stick between them, while we all listen respectfully to each other. Wow what a lovely idea. We'll work on it.

Our lifecoach Sally Lever reminded me recently that children don't often have the phrases or articulation to find and communicate whats on their mind. It is in these frustrating times when they are acting up and crying out for attention that compassion steps in as we try to help them decipher their feelings. I haven't found the moment to do this yet with our recent bubbling-over, but I'm one for returning to Love whenever possible. Love for my own parenting choices even when they may not have been the best ones, Love for the process of nurturing even when bleak anger flashes through our home, just Love.