Out of the Way Mama!!

Today I've been practising the art of staying out of Learning's way. Not physically, as we're all in pretty close proximity around here :) but keeping my thoughts to myself a lot, watching my habit of suggesting, asking and generally butting in to the children's flow. Keeping my focus on my own thing, preparing food, making a card for a friend, other jobs about me, following my own flow which all contributes to letting them follow their own. Also playing, joining in, as appropriate when the (many) opportunities came.

In the Shift film I mentioned (Wayne Dyer) there's a simple sequence where he speaks to a mother of two about how children have their own internal compass - "Let them use it". Rather than 'Can you get your shoes on?', 'Can you brush your hair?', 'Pick up your things now please', 'Can I help you stick that poster up?' (so its more pleasing to my eye and not on the wonk!), 'I think you'll find it easier like this' etc.etc.

Part of this process is about letting go of my ego (or whatever you want to call it)'s hold on what should be happening - a lot of my comments and queries are from a place of anxiety or need for control. It was really relaxing to let go of them, I thoroughly enjoyed the day, handing over this need to grip hold of how the day is shifting.

(I also had a gluten and sugar free day accidentally which may contribute to me feeling calmer)

Here's a list of what happened (and this was all before we got out of our pyjamas!) Again, this is simply what presented itself without me managing anything or leading particularly - except perhaps the spelling and numbers bit with Elderflower which naturally unfolded that way, simply doing as much as she wanted without pushing it. The rest of it was their own flow.

Elderflower recognised an aerial picture of a hurricane and the eye.

We talked about which of our relatives may be able to tell us what it was like to live through the second world war.

Some discussion about dinosaurs, skeletons, fossils, eggs and how the archeologists and scientists have come up with the images of what they think they looked like

The end of the dinosaurs, volcano, meteorite - ice age, whats that, how does it happen?

Pyramids, can you lift one?

Putting up posters, negotiating where to put them.

Blackberry read a story to E and S over breakfast.

Why gloves sometimes have the thumb pointing upwards rather than lying flat - the physiology of the hand.

Counting 1-10 Sunburst

Holidays - why does it take so long to get there?

Game of Happy Families with Flags of the World

Drawing pictures of butterflies and labelling them

Elderflower reading our last chapter together, savouring the book (not wanting it to end!), some spellings, some numbers - practising how hundreds look

Blackberry makes some small bags for her siblings and cousins out of fabric with her sewing machine and puts in some conker pets in them, wraps them all up, labels to give to them later.

Checking out the height chart and seeing if it can be cheated.

I stopped writing the list at midday when we had our lunch. Had a lovely day x

Just how autonomous can you get?!?

Its a pleasure to have Blogger back, our computer has been poorly for a week or two. There's been many a moment when I've wanted to get blogging again!

The beginning of our second year home educating, in a much more relaxed state than this time last year (and still a little room for more comfort next year as we continue to settle into this lifestyle).

In the first week as the rest of the neighbourhood children got into their schooling timetable, I came home from the shop at 11am to find all mine hanging on the front gate, hollering at me down the road. They'd only been in the front garden for a few moments (I was told after my overreaction!) but my instinct was to tell them all off and hurry them inside. I seemed acutely sensitive to drawing attention to ourselves. If we are seen to be not at school, at least lets seem to be working, focused, taking life seriously.... (!)

Perhaps some of this was the initial shock of all the children disappearing again. How it becomes normal to have such a limited number of age-groups around during the daytimes. The inviting of young people into institutions so that any still with their families seem out-of-place is frightening.

Anyway, I'm over it now!

And the point of this post was about planning. And how we do little in this house, and yet how clear it is where the progressions are, where to go next. The questions from the children pile in minute after minute. I remember reading in Ross Mountney's book her tip was to not plan further than a few days ahead and this advice sits well with us. Whilst I have the urges to map it out, I am learning more and more to trust where they go with things, they have their own map. So far this suits us just fine, in fact I feel very lucky that I can trust their process as it removes us parents from the driver's seat and puts us all co-piloting.

It has taken the de-schooling period for this love and thirst to be replenished, particularly for Blackberry the eldest. She now totally gets that its not up to us to feed her information, she has many projects and pursuits on the go. She joins in with us sometimes, she goes off sometimes. She doesn't wish to be taught, and we are navigating our ways to communicate more successfully each month that passes.

Elderflower is our teacher's pet (!!) in that she allows Papa Weststar in particular to lead and teach in its more traditional sense. Its a gift I think that she lets us follow a little thought pattern path with her for an hour or two, happily sinking her teeth into the suggested tasks. She has violin lessons and loves it. She's up for most things.

I never thought i'd be an autonomous educator. I became so schooled myself in traditional chalk and talk methods that they felt like the safest route. I knew no different. And yet in autonomy I find great comfort and happiness. Like the walls that hemmed me in imagining that life was just one long straight line from A to B have crumbled and fallen and I can dance wherever I choose. Going with the flow of the day, being present with their questions whether we are in the house, garden, city, county. Except for one hour after lunch and from 7pm onwards, I'm their's, we're together and we're doing the cha-cha-cha! - One step forwards one step backwards.......!

Creativity Silence

Its been all about logistics again this last couple of weeks. I'm not sure I've presented or chased a particular 'learning topic' in all that time. I have a sneaky feeling that this has not affected the amount thats been learned or explored by the Weststar Twiglets (collective pseudonym....!)

Thanks for the reminder Motherfunker about the shifting waves of home ed. Even though I don't feel there's anything to chart for this last fortnight (although of course if I focus and type it down, they'll be reams of information explored), I know that it is all Good Work!! Its all phemonenal. She said, he said, manoeuvring round each other, listening, feeling, finding, trying.

Its simply not quantifiable in a box ticking kind of way - though as an RE teacher hasbeen, I know that spiritual/emotional development rarely is! Knowledge growth, skill building is hard too, there's no set way of learning. How many times do you think your recipient is not listening only to find out they have a total grasp of whats being said and can take it leagues forwards when you least expect it?!

I can feel its good though and thats a nice feeling, I acknowledge that however irrationally, I intuitively know that we're growing and learning around here at the perfect pace for us.
How do you know when its been a good week? Do you chart it or mark it in any way?

I am looking forward to the next time some creative ideas come my way of activities and focuses for us to dance with. But I'm just accepting that these couple of weeks have not been like that, as with the flow, the ebb, one can not exist without the other.

Back after the Easter break

It took a long while to get back into our flow after our break. I felt it was like the self motivation needed for self-employment as an individual, only magnified because the kids were waiting for our cue. I became interested in what was pressuring me to get going again, also what was at play to make me see a difference between learning out and about over the break and 'real work' (?) back at the house.

Mostly I guess this is the collective consciousness of 2 week break then back to the 'hard grind'. If you don't at least look busy then you're not part of society's team.

Also though its simply an urge to have a familiar rhythm back. I feel the children still need that modelled for them, when we slot back into a certain structure or flow of the day we each know where we are a little more.

beginners guide

I really liked this article because it straightforwardly talks through the things you might like to consider in preparation for home educating (of all methods)

http://www.wikihow.com/Homeschool-Your-Children

We very much followed an inner guidance to arrive here, a persistent niggle over a few years. But I meet more and more families who arrived at the decision before school age and so presenting it as the full option that it is to parents I think is the way forwards :)

Wikihow also great for creating a habitat for a pet fly we found today....!

Becoming a bit more normal

Wow what a gift to be able to hang out with my kids all day, to not have the pressures of where to be at what time with what items. We have been out of paid work for 2 years, I tried a year of self-employment and J volunteers every week plus of course applying for tens of jobs each fortnight and keeping our feelers open all the times for opportunities.

This choice to take the kids back to the home, for however long or short as unfolds, has been one of the most empowering things I have ever done. I had no idea quite what a big impact school was having on us. I am glad to have passed through the fear barrier that swamped me last week and now have arrived at a more relaxed place.

We are of course checking in with the kids (if not verbally then just taking a moment to consider how they are, whether this is still OK, whether they are missing school too much etc.) and for us it has taken back some confidence, some power.

We are both teachers and to be using our craft again is great. I will be using it differently as I am seeing learning in such a different way to the prescriptive format I learned (or understood) as a young teacher, but hey, I'm doing what I'm good at, enjoying time with these precious kids, listening mostly, playing and relaxing. Life makes sense again. :)