I would love to know what other fabulous parents think about this issue (and please excuse me as this is very flow-of-consciousness this post! I am using the space to work out what I'm feeling)
When does controlling become too restrictive?
How can we as parents know when we are controlling something for our own benefit and actually its not that big a deal for the kids?
Here's some things we control the children's exposure to/use of:
TV, Computer games, internet,
Gluten, Sugar, Caffeine, to many processed foods, hormone injected/factory farmed meat,
Additives, aspartame, artificial colours etc.
(Media, news, other visual images or movies that are teenage or adult themed - though this is not an issue, it is easier to avoid over-exposure to these)
I also control my own exposure to these things - I find that too much of any of these things is detrimental to my health. However, to try to control the kids' use of these things can be really time-consuming, energy sapping and it can often result in me making up arbitrary rules that have no back up - out of fear that somehow we 're going to get swallowed up by these things. I feel I am working against the 'State' who actively promote and expect these things to be a usual part of childhood and life in general, so to try to curb or limit the use of them is swimming against a very swift and strong tide.
Blackberry is cross today. She is tired and cranky because she stayed up late through her own choice, repeatedly ignoring gentle reminders that its late. She is angry because we had two no-screen days at the weekend, my response to suddenly feeling that it had taken over our lives -- she patterns Papa W and I's use of the computer which is having it on all day and writing on it whenever we remember there's something to do, something to check, something to ask, watch etc. We want to change this habit for ourselves. Its an addiction like any other. Without the constant availability of a screen, my creativity soars and I feel more in control of my own life. I am wanting this freedom for my children too.
It is most noticeable when the children crowd round each other on there and are oblivious to anything else.
It curbs our creativity by giving an unlimitable distraction away from real life (and yet what is 'real' life? If a lot of their friends are doing these things unlimited, then what makes my kids any different?). Again, this is partly because of the constant streaming of high-stimulation adverts, information, allusions to a particular lifestyle, mind-numbing and subliminal programming that is allowed and promoted by the State.
Without it though, it is easy to feel isolated (I love blogging and visiting Facebook at intervals) - without television access I can sometimes feel like I am over-sacrificing! Being a martyr to a hippie cause, which isn't true of me. I feel I can hold my centre and accept all different lifestyles, I just want to be able to choose. And yet the pervasiveness of what's offered by mainstream is harder for a child to filter is it not? Or easier maybe...! That's what I mean, when do my parental concerns turn into overkill? These precious creatures that I care for are naturally more evolved than I, and so surely will have other means of filtering all the nonsense out?
And so Blackberry is fighting back by grabbing back her autonomy in other ways. It is slightly more complicated than that (as it is in all family dynamics! and again I won't attempt to psycho-analyse that one on this blog)... but enough to say that I can see the link between me trying to control things (for what I as her guardian see as being her best interests) and then her needing to assert her autonomy in other ways. And as a result I'm feeling pretty miserable!
I'll leave it there. I'm amazed if you've read to the end, thanks, and I'd love to hear your comments below. I don't know why this has come up for my attention today, but trying to go with it and express it as it works through.
Namaste.
Showing posts with label friendships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendships. Show all posts
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Pathways
Moved to talk about all the different decisions we make in parenting. I'm getting softer definitely on what I consider OK for families -- have been very hard-line 'home edder' for a year or so, probably to support myself through the big transition. But was shown very recently what hard-line can do for our friendships, happiness and general well-being.
We all make decisions based on where we are in our own development, influences, life-path. I think we can tell whether these decisions are healthy or not by how well we feel, how our children are, our inner compass so to speak. But ultimately there are so many factors involved in parenting that where we might strike gold in some areas, we are sure to let some things through the net elsewhere. Its part of the child's natural development to learn from our mistakes as well as what we see to be our successes.
I have this visual image that I'm going to try and put into words, here goes.
A series of lines, webbing, overlapping
- Television Watching: at one end we have the folk who say (and carry through with) No telly ever, at the other end the folk who have it on all the time, the rest of us walk the line in between.
- Vaccinations: some don't, some do, for all different reasons and none, they choose either end or some place in between.
- Development and education: Predominantly at home, predominantly at school
- Diet: gluten free, dairy free etc at one end, eat anything at the other
- Learning/teaching to read and write
- Availability of Computer
- Relationships with peers
- Relationships with wider family and other significant adults
- Antibiotics
- Communication, answering back not allowed, healthy arguments encouraged
- Birthing, natural process at one end, hospital procedure at other
And so in this web (with many many more lines that I have named) are families, walking their way through this 3,4,5 dimensional map, feeling their way forwards, sometimes confidently, sometimes blindly, sometimes staying still for a while and then bouncing off elsewhere.
Its all OK, that's what I wanted to say. Its all OK. Except when its not, but then noticing when its not is the first and biggest step to realigning and evaluating where you're at. And even then, it is all OK because we're human, we're on our paths each of us and we're figuring out how to do this parenting thing in a very busy and chaotic world. Take a breath and know you are the best person to be with your child right now.
Namaste.
We all make decisions based on where we are in our own development, influences, life-path. I think we can tell whether these decisions are healthy or not by how well we feel, how our children are, our inner compass so to speak. But ultimately there are so many factors involved in parenting that where we might strike gold in some areas, we are sure to let some things through the net elsewhere. Its part of the child's natural development to learn from our mistakes as well as what we see to be our successes.
I have this visual image that I'm going to try and put into words, here goes.
A series of lines, webbing, overlapping
- Television Watching: at one end we have the folk who say (and carry through with) No telly ever, at the other end the folk who have it on all the time, the rest of us walk the line in between.
- Vaccinations: some don't, some do, for all different reasons and none, they choose either end or some place in between.
- Development and education: Predominantly at home, predominantly at school
- Diet: gluten free, dairy free etc at one end, eat anything at the other
- Learning/teaching to read and write
- Availability of Computer
- Relationships with peers
- Relationships with wider family and other significant adults
- Antibiotics
- Communication, answering back not allowed, healthy arguments encouraged
- Birthing, natural process at one end, hospital procedure at other
And so in this web (with many many more lines that I have named) are families, walking their way through this 3,4,5 dimensional map, feeling their way forwards, sometimes confidently, sometimes blindly, sometimes staying still for a while and then bouncing off elsewhere.
Its all OK, that's what I wanted to say. Its all OK. Except when its not, but then noticing when its not is the first and biggest step to realigning and evaluating where you're at. And even then, it is all OK because we're human, we're on our paths each of us and we're figuring out how to do this parenting thing in a very busy and chaotic world. Take a breath and know you are the best person to be with your child right now.
Wednesday, 22 August 2012
It wasn't on The Map!
Some quite unexpected events have fallen in amongst the Weststar householders. All completely joyful, though at first glance they may seem like crises.
Just after my successful interview (you'll remember the one, big life change, half-time work, moving up and out of unemployed life, into sharing the paid work and home ed balance....) - I fell pregnant. Yes I do know how it happens, but I made a mistake about timings and this is how I find myself. And so Number 4 Weststar is on her or his way.
So up until now I've planned and dreamed and forged my way forwards with what I understood my life to be about. The map was detailed, if a little boring, I fitted in to what might be expected of me from the outside. (Well, except for the home ed I guess, and the grain-free awkwardness, and the anti-vaccine stance... OK OK dream on Westy if you think you were fulfilling expectations!)
So I thought I was following my map and pleasing those around me if they took the time to need pleasing.
But now, this absolute Gift of a soul growing in my belly is very inconvenient. We won't fit in a normal car (which we can't afford to run anyhow!), we are still largely unemployed in any real monetary sense. I smart at quite how this could have happened. It wasn't on the Map!
And yet I think I feel today about as humbled and lucky as I have felt of late. Totally supported by Grace and the Flow of Life. My new boss is figuring out how to still have me in a slightly different role and probably less hours initially. Friends have come forward with help and support abundant. I've realised I really did want another little bear (and any of this is only possible because of home ed, there is no way I would bring someone else into my previous incarnation as a school-running clock-watcher) and I totally trust that we'll figure it out.
Or, to hell with figuring it out. Its already sorted, we just have to surrender and go with the flow to support ourselves, continue our excellent family life and enjoy the relationships within our family and friend community that co-sustain. Hard work yes, I know that, but real ground roots work where we grow, thrive, learn and unfold.
When have unexpected things happened to you and how did you welcome them into your life? I'd love to know. Thank you for reading friends.
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
Activity city!
I have sat at many points on the opportunities seesaw. What opportunities do we want for our children? To fill them up with everything that comes our way, to install in them a religiousness to their attendance at skill-building workshops because they might need them one day? To have a chance to do the things we didn't do as kids?
I remember bending over backwards to give Elderflower the chance to try out 'toddler tennis' when she was 4 - Blackberry then 6, to school, Sunburst, then half a year or so into a friend's arms at home and we two would snatch this 45 minutes session in the school hall at 10am each Wednesday. I was at that time keen to 'fill them up' with stuff that sounded good. Well everyone else seemed to be doing it.
Blackberry tried an after school club for a few weeks too. Again, everyone else seemed to do it and this musical opportunity was being poured full of government money with young keen musicians leading the show. Picking her up at 5.00 I chivvied her along, oh it'll be fine come on, you'll enjoy being able to play the violin.
We've tried Rainbows too. It was great for a few weeks, then flop.
Do we lack backbone? No, I think we simply are letting them lead, trusting their decisions. It is quite a hassle getting them places, which I'm more than happy to do if the place feeds them. But if they don't like it why would we push it for now?
I remember bending over backwards to give Elderflower the chance to try out 'toddler tennis' when she was 4 - Blackberry then 6, to school, Sunburst, then half a year or so into a friend's arms at home and we two would snatch this 45 minutes session in the school hall at 10am each Wednesday. I was at that time keen to 'fill them up' with stuff that sounded good. Well everyone else seemed to be doing it.
Blackberry tried an after school club for a few weeks too. Again, everyone else seemed to do it and this musical opportunity was being poured full of government money with young keen musicians leading the show. Picking her up at 5.00 I chivvied her along, oh it'll be fine come on, you'll enjoy being able to play the violin.
We've tried Rainbows too. It was great for a few weeks, then flop.
Do we lack backbone? No, I think we simply are letting them lead, trusting their decisions. It is quite a hassle getting them places, which I'm more than happy to do if the place feeds them. But if they don't like it why would we push it for now?
Wednesday, 11 July 2012
No room for school!
I want more photos on this blog! I guess thats up to me isn't it! Still only just managing to weave the writing on the blog let alone make it as attractive and colourful as some of my blog sister sites (I have totally made this phrase up but it is how I have come to find this late night blog surfing)
Today I got a job! 21 hours variable shift work, fairly low paid but something I wanted ~ with elderly folk ~ new skills and new beginnings all round. We will be threading it into our home ed lifestyle and I have every trust that it will fit in well, shifting us towards supporting ourselves financially. We are only now learning to earn our bread after a combined formal education of forty years, I trust our journey will put us in good stead to model this essential skill for our kids.
We recently stayed with good friends where I had a trial run at home educating whilst doing school runs for my niece. It was too much for me! Sure, one or the other, but both was too much. One of the beauties and central bonuses of the home ed lifestyle for me, is the honouring of natural cycles. Of letting the day unfold, play its course and then curl up to bed.
I have never been a great fan of the clock, and then when adding children to the mix it surely went out the window. Try explaining to a 2 year old that the clocks have gone back and bedtime is at a different time today it just never washed with me. Biorhythms, dips and rises in the humidity, heat, moon phases, these are the nuances to our days. Our routine is structurally sound but moves as a fractal not a machine.
I know this will not wash with my new employer! And clocks are great for meeting up with others, not to mention their clever mechanics and maths opportunities! Maybe its just 9 and 3 I struggle with! Perhaps 7.30 and 12.30 would suit me better, where have our individual choices gone?!
I think that for Elderflower it is one more year all together with no flexischooling; we will of course check this through with her, but we've already giggled together that with our current timetable there is no room for school! I know myself well enough to know that it is better to do one thing well than to try to do many things half-cocked. One home ed group in particular is flourishing, building these relationships is where I am at.
I commit myself to more natural unfoldings, to including our children in their own growth and development, to listening to their needs and the advice and inspiration of other families, to trusting myself as my child's guardian and nurturer.
Bring it on! Next year's gonna be great!!!
Today I got a job! 21 hours variable shift work, fairly low paid but something I wanted ~ with elderly folk ~ new skills and new beginnings all round. We will be threading it into our home ed lifestyle and I have every trust that it will fit in well, shifting us towards supporting ourselves financially. We are only now learning to earn our bread after a combined formal education of forty years, I trust our journey will put us in good stead to model this essential skill for our kids.
We recently stayed with good friends where I had a trial run at home educating whilst doing school runs for my niece. It was too much for me! Sure, one or the other, but both was too much. One of the beauties and central bonuses of the home ed lifestyle for me, is the honouring of natural cycles. Of letting the day unfold, play its course and then curl up to bed.
I have never been a great fan of the clock, and then when adding children to the mix it surely went out the window. Try explaining to a 2 year old that the clocks have gone back and bedtime is at a different time today it just never washed with me. Biorhythms, dips and rises in the humidity, heat, moon phases, these are the nuances to our days. Our routine is structurally sound but moves as a fractal not a machine.
I know this will not wash with my new employer! And clocks are great for meeting up with others, not to mention their clever mechanics and maths opportunities! Maybe its just 9 and 3 I struggle with! Perhaps 7.30 and 12.30 would suit me better, where have our individual choices gone?!
I think that for Elderflower it is one more year all together with no flexischooling; we will of course check this through with her, but we've already giggled together that with our current timetable there is no room for school! I know myself well enough to know that it is better to do one thing well than to try to do many things half-cocked. One home ed group in particular is flourishing, building these relationships is where I am at.
I commit myself to more natural unfoldings, to including our children in their own growth and development, to listening to their needs and the advice and inspiration of other families, to trusting myself as my child's guardian and nurturer.
Bring it on! Next year's gonna be great!!!
Wednesday, 27 June 2012
Full Life Living Our Choices
Sitting in the car today with my son, a feast of opportunities around us. Again finding that less is more. I used to find car journeys great for conversation in my family growing up - somehow the lack of distractions gave fertile ground for real comments on life, how we all were as individuals for example. Little (we're yet to come up with his pseudonym) has always been happy sitting in the car seat, whether or not the car is moving, he has a feeling of going somewhere, a reassuring sense of journeying.
Today was the last day for one of their groups, quite happily coming to the end. Its a great group, with great tutors but too much money for us at present and life just feels so busy again. Can it really be as busy as it was at full time school? It certainly feels it! When the kids came out of the local schools today I felt like the day was only just beginning, our commitments and arrangements continue into the evenings, the kids fall into their beds replete and satisfied. Fullness. Thats how life feels at the moment. Wow, I love that.
And yet the flip side of fullness is when the simple things start slipping, where getting to the next appointment takes precedent over respectfulness within the family, or attention to the basics of our living space. So I happily let some things go (be they possessions, thought patterns or outside commitments) safe in the knowledge that we are full. Thats not to say I'm flakey. Far from it, I take our relationships gladly and seriously :) But I'm no longer packing the meet-up dates in, fretting about socialisation, or responding to every cry out for this friend or that friend. Even an empty day in the diary will be full of breath, life, stillness and movement in constant flow and balance.
Today was the last day for one of their groups, quite happily coming to the end. Its a great group, with great tutors but too much money for us at present and life just feels so busy again. Can it really be as busy as it was at full time school? It certainly feels it! When the kids came out of the local schools today I felt like the day was only just beginning, our commitments and arrangements continue into the evenings, the kids fall into their beds replete and satisfied. Fullness. Thats how life feels at the moment. Wow, I love that.
And yet the flip side of fullness is when the simple things start slipping, where getting to the next appointment takes precedent over respectfulness within the family, or attention to the basics of our living space. So I happily let some things go (be they possessions, thought patterns or outside commitments) safe in the knowledge that we are full. Thats not to say I'm flakey. Far from it, I take our relationships gladly and seriously :) But I'm no longer packing the meet-up dates in, fretting about socialisation, or responding to every cry out for this friend or that friend. Even an empty day in the diary will be full of breath, life, stillness and movement in constant flow and balance.
Friday, 30 March 2012
Disputes
Most days I find myself really checking in and finding how incredibly different I feel about life now that the kids are with me more. I feel fully able to parent, guide, partner them in their childhood stages.
Today a titanic tantrum from my middle, made a 15 minute walk to nearly an hour. We've all experienced that, sure. Lots of calm thoughts, balancing between disengaging and engaging as best I could - did fairly well this time actually, in allowing the rage to come out and let it pass without getting too caught up in it myself :) It was easier to do this bcs I had a full awareness of what was being expressed. There was very little unknown about what she was upset about.
I used to find when they had been around many many other kids all day, they were processing alot both at school and afterwards. It was harder for me to be clear about what reaction was appropriate from me when a melt-down occurred. Also there was a lot more stress around us if the tantrum took place when we had a time deadline for example. I also had a lot to process that had happened during my day away from them and there simply wasn't the time to catch up with each other and keep that family cohesion.
I like home ed because its put back at the centre the reason I had kids in the first place.
Today a titanic tantrum from my middle, made a 15 minute walk to nearly an hour. We've all experienced that, sure. Lots of calm thoughts, balancing between disengaging and engaging as best I could - did fairly well this time actually, in allowing the rage to come out and let it pass without getting too caught up in it myself :) It was easier to do this bcs I had a full awareness of what was being expressed. There was very little unknown about what she was upset about.
I used to find when they had been around many many other kids all day, they were processing alot both at school and afterwards. It was harder for me to be clear about what reaction was appropriate from me when a melt-down occurred. Also there was a lot more stress around us if the tantrum took place when we had a time deadline for example. I also had a lot to process that had happened during my day away from them and there simply wasn't the time to catch up with each other and keep that family cohesion.
I like home ed because its put back at the centre the reason I had kids in the first place.
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Momentarily overwhelmed
Even admitting it here is tantamount to admitting a fall. And so I think this might be equivalent to transition in childbirth. Totally freaking out, reaching out to others to catch me to help me, looking for reassurance around me, outside of me - searching for points of reference of others who have gone before and succeeded. And transition happens in every labour, not just the first, so perhaps I can look to other situations where I have lost my points of reference and gained some centrepoint to hold me while the change takes place. Playing and love gets me through, a long kiss from my husband brought my second daughter into the world. Leaning on my friends did it for the first. And head in the lap of my doula for love and reassurance did the third. When the world as she knows it is or appears to be collapsing around, the woman is alone. Can only be supported gently and quietly from the outside, it is her journey to go alone, only she can birth the baby.
And now only I can protect and hold myself as the school structure melts away from us along with the friendships (as they were), the accepted rhythm of school runs, the passing over of responsibility, I'm desperately holding on to the memory that there were positive things about school, partly so as not to alienate myself from my peers and partly because I know that we may need it some day again and so not wanting to be two-faced, hypocritical. But hey, I'm the only one judging myself so harshly. Perhaps for now I do need to reject and drop the school system for all that it didn't provide, for the depression and anxiety I link to the drudgery of allotted time slots, forced relationships with others, passing power away to 'professionals' (all the more odd as I am a school teacher by trade myself!)
And so here it is Weststar. The responsibility is back, fully landed on my doorstep.
I thought we might do vision boards today but then I think we might do lots of things and thats before the crew wake up and everything takes on a new direction...
Centre centre centre.
And now only I can protect and hold myself as the school structure melts away from us along with the friendships (as they were), the accepted rhythm of school runs, the passing over of responsibility, I'm desperately holding on to the memory that there were positive things about school, partly so as not to alienate myself from my peers and partly because I know that we may need it some day again and so not wanting to be two-faced, hypocritical. But hey, I'm the only one judging myself so harshly. Perhaps for now I do need to reject and drop the school system for all that it didn't provide, for the depression and anxiety I link to the drudgery of allotted time slots, forced relationships with others, passing power away to 'professionals' (all the more odd as I am a school teacher by trade myself!)
And so here it is Weststar. The responsibility is back, fully landed on my doorstep.
I thought we might do vision boards today but then I think we might do lots of things and thats before the crew wake up and everything takes on a new direction...
Centre centre centre.
Saturday, 1 October 2011
on joining groups
So I know how to reach other home ed families, there's a local yahoo group, but I'm stalling. I do feel enthusiastic about getting support/variety on board but at the same time I'm thoroughly protective of us right now. And this is new to me!! Not sure its been modelled for me the idea of sticking to your own, of battening down the hatches ~ I easily lose myself in someone else's trip. Which is perhaps why I became so anxious and depressed going back and forth to the school playground each day, picking up on the stresses and strains of other families, the teaching staff, the secretaries, the queues of traffic, looking searching out for a connection, a mutual sharing of experience. So now I'm nervous to reach out. I know that we will find friends for our educating journey but just like you can't go 'out there' to search for your life partner, I feel it would be needless distraction to try sifting through other home ed families in an attempt to fulfil our 'criteria'!!
When I was waiting to meet my life partner I had the idea that it is wise to live my life as truly as I can, pursue my own path as closely as possible and then there was the biggest chance that I would find someone who's path was running parallel to my own. In hindsight this worked. So i'll apply the same to family friend searching!
It feels hard at the moment to be on a different time scale to our current friends but do you know it also feels really refreshing. Knowing that I'm singing from my soul note song sheet gives me naturally more energy to offer friendships, even if we are not doing the same things during the day and seeing each other as frequently as we did when we were in the schooling rhythm, when we do meet up it is with new news, experiences, stories.
When I was waiting to meet my life partner I had the idea that it is wise to live my life as truly as I can, pursue my own path as closely as possible and then there was the biggest chance that I would find someone who's path was running parallel to my own. In hindsight this worked. So i'll apply the same to family friend searching!
It feels hard at the moment to be on a different time scale to our current friends but do you know it also feels really refreshing. Knowing that I'm singing from my soul note song sheet gives me naturally more energy to offer friendships, even if we are not doing the same things during the day and seeing each other as frequently as we did when we were in the schooling rhythm, when we do meet up it is with new news, experiences, stories.
Saturday, 10 September 2011
weekend
So its the weekend and we can go out without feeling like lepers! (This is all in my mind I am sure, the more comfortable I become with home edding the less I will feel so conspicuous, naughty and irresponsible).
In fact I feel very responsible, as responsible as I was with my birthing choices and early parenting choices - it can be scary to be totally present with my intentions knowing that they are fairly wild and out there in comparison with a lot of society. But hey I am me and this is now.
We are keeping very in touch with friends from school after my revelation (!) yesterday and so the whole structure of our life is undergoing a change. Everything is up in the air as we gently allow the dust to settle and the newness of the terrain to show itself. Weekends used to be about reconnecting with the children and so it was unlikely that we would reach out to others, but now we are fully connected with the children, it is a great time to meet up and play (although mindful that other schooling families will be reconnecting and having their own family time...)
Responding to my truth and trying this out for however long we try it has renewed my energy levels and probably improved my relationships with school families as I am feeling more genuine. Less depressed about feeling powerless and stuck in a school system I felt uneasy about. Not dissatisfied totally but an unease that contributed drip by drip to some overwhelming emotions of depression and anxiety. I had a course of acupuncture this summer which brought me from a very desperate place to a very empowered place which allowed us to move forwards with this decision.
Later on a friend and her son will be coming for a crafting session. Brilliant.I feel that as we are making this transition, the children are naturally remembering the things they liked about school and missing them. Its great to listen to them and feel some sadness but whereas yesterday I felt a desperation to make it all better and get them whatever they needed to feel comfortable again, today I am accepting that there will be some grieving and that we are checking in with them at all times, they know that they can go back if they want to, but actually they don't push for this, they are accepting of the change and I am learning from them :)
Feeling stronger after taking moment to myself this morning before everyone was up to draw, create and dream - to check how I'm feeling so that I can keep navigating from the inner truth and not get crashed about in the storm of change. Something like that anyway!
We are making some plans for next week for things that we'd like to do with our time. Also I am exploring new meals I can cook as my week used to only involve half this amount of family meals! .....
In fact I feel very responsible, as responsible as I was with my birthing choices and early parenting choices - it can be scary to be totally present with my intentions knowing that they are fairly wild and out there in comparison with a lot of society. But hey I am me and this is now.
We are keeping very in touch with friends from school after my revelation (!) yesterday and so the whole structure of our life is undergoing a change. Everything is up in the air as we gently allow the dust to settle and the newness of the terrain to show itself. Weekends used to be about reconnecting with the children and so it was unlikely that we would reach out to others, but now we are fully connected with the children, it is a great time to meet up and play (although mindful that other schooling families will be reconnecting and having their own family time...)
Responding to my truth and trying this out for however long we try it has renewed my energy levels and probably improved my relationships with school families as I am feeling more genuine. Less depressed about feeling powerless and stuck in a school system I felt uneasy about. Not dissatisfied totally but an unease that contributed drip by drip to some overwhelming emotions of depression and anxiety. I had a course of acupuncture this summer which brought me from a very desperate place to a very empowered place which allowed us to move forwards with this decision.
Later on a friend and her son will be coming for a crafting session. Brilliant.I feel that as we are making this transition, the children are naturally remembering the things they liked about school and missing them. Its great to listen to them and feel some sadness but whereas yesterday I felt a desperation to make it all better and get them whatever they needed to feel comfortable again, today I am accepting that there will be some grieving and that we are checking in with them at all times, they know that they can go back if they want to, but actually they don't push for this, they are accepting of the change and I am learning from them :)
Feeling stronger after taking moment to myself this morning before everyone was up to draw, create and dream - to check how I'm feeling so that I can keep navigating from the inner truth and not get crashed about in the storm of change. Something like that anyway!
We are making some plans for next week for things that we'd like to do with our time. Also I am exploring new meals I can cook as my week used to only involve half this amount of family meals! .....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)