Life in the new baby household...

Our littlest bear was born on April 10th - we haven't got her blogname yet so I'll save that for another post. Been away from the computer for a while now -- a good sprinkling of new mum sensitivities and tiredness which I hope I am accepting may be here for some more weeks yet.

Today I had some D A R K thoughts about home education! They've moved on now, but I had this image of these children all Swanning around doing what they like without helping out with the house jobs and Why Can't You All Just Bog Off to School Then??????????? I needed to check with a friend - Are they OK? Is it OK for them to be around us when Papa W and I are so very very tired?

Yes it is OK, its real life, its learning opportunity, its still the babymoon and any wild thoughts that we should all be Doing more are fairly misplaced (the old parental guilt rearing its head again!) Besides they are doing heaps, its me who can't chart it! There's many sane traditions about the lying in period when a new baby comes. Modelling this for my daughters feels very wholesome even if I am occasionally champing at the bit to get going again. Where does that pressure come from besides my own impatience?

The moment has passed (so much so that I can't believe I was even thinking it).

Elderflower and Sunburst are out with dad doing the Brownies thing. Blackberry and I have been getting the crystals out of boxes to put them on beautifully sunny window sills ready for the bright moon tonight. She learned today that if you place a bid on ebay its legally binding.... thank heavens she only bid £3! Its her new favourite way to spend her pennies. Most often on old or foreign pennies to add to her collection.

Thats all for now.
Peace.
Ali Weststar x


OK ok ok, here's a photo......

So that's what's going on in the house, incorporating another beautiful soul into our gorgeously thriving home. May we support each other while she lands and allow the richness of this colourful experience simply Be what it is!

The Pregnant Pause: part one

Sunburst putting shoes on our 'pretend-new-bubba' - we'll announce her screen name in when she arrives. Last few days or weeks now, children are being amazing as we go through this transition together - I have a new burst of love for home ed and the gentleness with which we can continue learning, any time of day, during this big life change. A medley of work, play, rest, cuddles, questions, laughter, more questions, trying out new things, finding our way together.

Blackberry has been crocheting chains as bracelets. She would like to learn how to do the Granny squares I've been making, but acknowledges that this may be hard when she doesn't like to be shown directly how to do something!! She has been trying free-style crochet (stick the needle in anywhere, yarn over, and pull through) which so far has made her a beautiful heart shape so perhaps she'll happen upon Granny squares via a new route! Also quietly observing rather than have a 'teacher's commentary' works well for her.

This is Elderflower visiting one of the souls we share our lane with. She would love to visit some dolphins and whales which may be a bit tricky in this country!! She's been into ants and minibeasts but the cold snap has come back to stop us from exploring any further. Bring on the warmer weather :) 

Baby Holiday

It was announced last week by a close HE friend that this should now be my Baby Holiday -- where we slow down, not expect quite so much from our days. At 34 weeks gestation there is a cruel and mean beast on my right shoulder saying No it is Too Early: you Must keep Pushing and Striving to keep the Strict and Serious business of home education turning Forwards, you can not stop yet!!

Heavens, there's some inner-saboteur soundtrack for you!

It will not surprise you to read that all remains well in the Weststar home - despite the ridiculous on-going chatter of my doubts and stresses (accompanied by the white-knuckle ride of pregnancy hormones and emotions!!) and the quite natural bicker and growth of 3 children and 2 parents navigating their way around a new home and getting ready to welcome our newcomer in April.

There's a book called Idle Parenting -- I may not ever get to actually read it, but I love the title. Its a reminder that we can let our children grow and learn without steering them, butting in every five minutes. So that even if at choice times in life's journey we are less involved, it may consequently be Perfect growth time for the children!! How easy it is to get in their way!!

Blackberry is submerged in learning about herbs to grow and as medicines. She has designed and built with her dad a 'Magic Garden' - a wheel consisting of 6 sections in which we will be growing our herbs. She is due to spend the afternoon with our good friend and herbalist on Tuesday too, to go through her dispensary and help stock-take. Fab.

Elderflower continues to bloom forwards, inspired by a friend and parent at our Barefoot Learners group last Monday to write a song about sharks and turtles, she got her violin out to have a go at a tune for it yesterday. She is enamoured by the story of Winter the dolphin (DVD A Dolphin's Tale - true story, nicely done) and continues to have in-depth, left-field questions about just about everything we encounter and more.

If your children would like to visit their blogs, they are:

Blackberry: http://cheeky7.blogspot.co.uk/
Elderflower: http://elderflowersblog.blogspot.co.uk/
Please leave a comment and share your blog address too :)

Sunburst loves his dad especially at the moment. A lot of cuddles, reassurance, wrestling and boisterousness. Walks in the woods with Blackberry, setting up animal tea parties for Elderflower, high quality lego vehicles and Sunday chocolates.

Yep, our baby holiday will be no dip in the learning curve, just a new rhythm, a freer style and some priceless life skills as we develop patience with each other, the art of going-with-the-flow and easing through yet another transitional time.

Home ed, keeping the heart of family life at our hearth, growing together.

final trimester, final straws

Things are calming down around here, the pregnancy has brought me to yet the next layer of simplifying and slowing down. Recognising I can do less, manage less, juggle less. In a wholesome pregnancy book this would be a celebrated time where I would honour my body and surrender to the process. I'm getting there.... noticing loads of negative mind chatter and frustration, but I hope I'm letting go where I can. I have protestant-work-ethic running in my veins, even when I least expect it there's self-blame and guilt just waiting to plague me!

Blackberry and I have gone grain-free for Lent which gave me the boost of creativity I needed this morning. It was her idea and whilst it might be harder work, I'm really welcoming the change. We had been getting bored with our menu. I followed this diet in the first trimester and it really helped with the nausea because it keeps the blood sugar levels more steady. I'm hoping it may help now with the exhaustion and certainly today I've been more even-keel with physical and emotional worlds. Slower, but I'm still fairly steady at the end of the day whereas over-burning earlier in the day has meant massive exhaustion in the afternoons and evenings, the last week or two.

I wanted to share a very good-humoured jest with a friend today where we were talking about those times when we're not sure home ed is the right thing, when we're in an ebb. She referred to it as having the boarding school on speed dial!

There's been a ripple of interest in chemistry with pH levels and cleaning coins with vinegar for Blackberry. Drying out orange peel in different ways. Pestle and mortar experiments and recipe finding for the Lent diet. Loads of outdoor time and knitting.
Elderflower's still the one who welcomes a bit of working from books most days with English and Maths. Its just one slice of the pizza as the largest chunk of her learning comes from noticing the things around her and the conversations we have. Animals, birds and the dawn of private reading.
Sunburst has gently been introduced to s-a-t-n-i-p phonemes, feels a bit early to me but not to him! Lego constructions are a favourite especially when wearing a cape. Imagination of a creative giant, sometimes we lose track of what has happened and what has been dreamed up, he holds us all in his story-telling genius.

Just non-stop development all day every day, all of them. Trying to list it leaves so much out that its difficult to know how to chart or prove or quantify what's been learned. The Local Education Authority visitor was totally satisfied with our provision so I guess we must have enough 'evidence' even if what can be seen on paper or learned about in a 2 hour home visit only scratches the surface of each family member's growth, development and education journey!

Bye for now, a calm and gestating Weststar :)

Bath chats, car chats, crackling the ice chats

Finally got here!
I might not be long!! I feel like the computer might explode or stop me somehow from musing!

We've moved house, we've had the flu, we're settling now. In equal measure the move has been exciting, giving us many opportunities that we've been asking for for years and frightening as we are a long way from the city, down a lane in the snow, miles from our current support network...

I am fairly confident that it will help me to grow in inner strength and patience -- but I must confess to wondering how it happened quite like this! We had our first cherished visitors today which was bliss.

And so today has been a series of blessings, whilst still feeling poorly from this deep and bizarre virus we've caught, the children are showing signs of being a little more settled. Elderflower is a soft balm at the moment, gently getting on with things, noticing little jobs she can do to help, saying Yes to little ideas I have - shall we walk up to see the horses - Yes Mum.

Yes is such a fabulous word. I hear No a lot and whilst it bounces as much as I can let it, the expansive affirmation of a fellow human being agreeing and joining me in some act is Beautiful and never fails to send warm glowing gratitude into my heart and limbs.

We used to have a day every now and again: A Yes Day. I might bring this practise back. Much needed light and fluffy approach to life, fun, laughter and affirming each other - its all got a bit serious around here at times!


And so onto the home education factor - it has of course given us the freedom to move - I'm not sure I could have coped with the added upheaval of pulling the children from their school and planting them somewhere else all within the time frame of moving house. But if they had a school to go to it may have cushioned them from some of the chaos entering a nicely ordered classroom each day while our many belongings float down around our ears and find places to live within the home environment.

- Where's the crochet hook?! - Where's my sketch book?! - Mum you know that ..... I was working on ..... which box is it in ?! A wise friend helped me recently (I think she specialised in child psychology in her working days) by reminding me that for children to grow as balanced individuals they need a fair share of trauma and chaos. Thank heavens for that!

Just as the word Yes warms my bones, the sight of engaged children, asking questions and figuring new things about their world lights my way. Whether we're sitting with a book, in the bath, on a car journey or walking down the lane the questions keep coming. This is the home education. The children continue to do it their way and they will fill their cups to the brim with the enthusiasm and lust for growth true of all living beings.

Yes!!

Carrying 9 year olds (and other great parenting tips...)

Add moving house to our list of things to achieve, sprinkle on a bit of new year flu! And you have the house of loopiness!

I've been swearing like a trooper at inappropriate moments, exploding with bursts of anger at bedtime (just when the house is starting to become still...), attempting to carry a 9 year old who refuses to go to bed, oooo the list goes on!

Just wanted to balance my blog out with the real picture!!

And thank heavens for telly these last couple of days!
And thank heavens that I am as free with my apologies, forgiveness and revisiting/reflecting as I am with my expressions of anger!

Hope you're all well and that 2013 is beginning well in your families.

I've heard positive things about other schools considering offering flexi-school options. Benjamin's school, a new approach to schooling in Norfolk has completed its bid for starting in Sept 2014 -- sending that proposal much much light :)

It all begins with ideas and with sharing them.

However off-the-wall our dreams may be to create innovative, down-to-earth, real life preparation learning spaces and experiences for our children, we can look around and find that others are having these dreams too.

Whilst my blogging wavers all over the place along with my life experiences, I am holding the light for sharing more, dreaming more, and manifesting more. So that the positive experience we are able to share with our kids, much more family based than any current school offers, can show itself as the very real choice that it is for any other family considering it.

Yes, go on, do it!

Stay in your homes!

I'm consistently amazed at just how little I can manage outside of the basics at the moment! 19 weeks pregnant, selling the house, 3 lively kids at home soaking up all the alleys of experience that we explore together. OK so the basics are quite involved to be fair!

Every time I think I've made some big steps to come back to the home, to minimise, simplify, centre... I find just a few weeks later that I'm still running around like a crazy thing and finding all the same symptoms of overwrought come in to play. Pregnancy nausea, exhaustion, dietary confusion, dark days. And its time to minimise some more. Not sure why I'm obsessed with being busy because the kids aren't really that fussed! Some of our best days are the ones where we're at home, taking it steady with good food, each following our own little rhythm inside the rhythm of the day.


Giving up home ed just doesn't feel like an option anymore... although of course it is! I mean I can't imagine losing the freedom and structure to our day - hard work though it is, I am more alive and more authentic than I was before. The quality of life for all of us simply being and growing together was not manageable fitting in to the traditional working timetable.

There we go, a short little moment, didn't want to lost the thread of the blog, though life is turning upside, downside round and round, there's something about checking in -- I totally see how the word blog came about!

Out of the Way Mama!!

Today I've been practising the art of staying out of Learning's way. Not physically, as we're all in pretty close proximity around here :) but keeping my thoughts to myself a lot, watching my habit of suggesting, asking and generally butting in to the children's flow. Keeping my focus on my own thing, preparing food, making a card for a friend, other jobs about me, following my own flow which all contributes to letting them follow their own. Also playing, joining in, as appropriate when the (many) opportunities came.

In the Shift film I mentioned (Wayne Dyer) there's a simple sequence where he speaks to a mother of two about how children have their own internal compass - "Let them use it". Rather than 'Can you get your shoes on?', 'Can you brush your hair?', 'Pick up your things now please', 'Can I help you stick that poster up?' (so its more pleasing to my eye and not on the wonk!), 'I think you'll find it easier like this' etc.etc.

Part of this process is about letting go of my ego (or whatever you want to call it)'s hold on what should be happening - a lot of my comments and queries are from a place of anxiety or need for control. It was really relaxing to let go of them, I thoroughly enjoyed the day, handing over this need to grip hold of how the day is shifting.

(I also had a gluten and sugar free day accidentally which may contribute to me feeling calmer)

Here's a list of what happened (and this was all before we got out of our pyjamas!) Again, this is simply what presented itself without me managing anything or leading particularly - except perhaps the spelling and numbers bit with Elderflower which naturally unfolded that way, simply doing as much as she wanted without pushing it. The rest of it was their own flow.

Elderflower recognised an aerial picture of a hurricane and the eye.

We talked about which of our relatives may be able to tell us what it was like to live through the second world war.

Some discussion about dinosaurs, skeletons, fossils, eggs and how the archeologists and scientists have come up with the images of what they think they looked like

The end of the dinosaurs, volcano, meteorite - ice age, whats that, how does it happen?

Pyramids, can you lift one?

Putting up posters, negotiating where to put them.

Blackberry read a story to E and S over breakfast.

Why gloves sometimes have the thumb pointing upwards rather than lying flat - the physiology of the hand.

Counting 1-10 Sunburst

Holidays - why does it take so long to get there?

Game of Happy Families with Flags of the World

Drawing pictures of butterflies and labelling them

Elderflower reading our last chapter together, savouring the book (not wanting it to end!), some spellings, some numbers - practising how hundreds look

Blackberry makes some small bags for her siblings and cousins out of fabric with her sewing machine and puts in some conker pets in them, wraps them all up, labels to give to them later.

Checking out the height chart and seeing if it can be cheated.

I stopped writing the list at midday when we had our lunch. Had a lovely day x

It wasn't on The Map!

Some quite unexpected events have fallen in amongst the Weststar householders. All completely joyful, though at first glance they may seem like crises.

Just after my successful interview (you'll remember the one, big life change, half-time work, moving up and out of unemployed life, into sharing the paid work and home ed balance....) - I fell pregnant. Yes I do know how it happens, but I made a mistake about timings and this is how I find myself. And so Number 4 Weststar is on her or his way.

So up until now I've planned and dreamed and forged my way forwards with what I understood my life to be about. The map was detailed, if a little boring, I fitted in to what might be expected of me from the outside. (Well, except for the home ed I guess, and the grain-free awkwardness, and the anti-vaccine stance... OK OK dream on Westy if you think you were fulfilling expectations!)

So I thought I was following my map and pleasing those around me if they took the time to need pleasing.

But now, this absolute Gift of a soul growing in my belly is very inconvenient. We won't fit in a normal car (which we can't afford to run anyhow!), we are still largely unemployed in any real monetary sense. I smart at quite how this could have happened. It wasn't on the Map!

And yet I think I feel today about as humbled and lucky as I have felt of late. Totally supported by Grace and the Flow of Life. My new boss is figuring out how to still have me in a slightly different role and probably less hours initially. Friends have come forward with help and support abundant. I've realised I really did want another little bear (and any of this is only possible because of home ed, there is no way I would bring someone else into my previous incarnation as a school-running clock-watcher) and I totally trust that we'll figure it out.

Or, to hell with figuring it out. Its already sorted, we just have to surrender and go with the flow to support ourselves, continue our excellent family life and enjoy the relationships within our family and friend community that co-sustain. Hard work yes, I know that, but real ground roots work where we grow, thrive, learn and unfold.

When have unexpected things happened to you and how did you welcome them into your life? I'd love to know. Thank you for reading friends.

LIfe's pretty uneventful really!

Describing different ways of understanding basic fractions over the last few weeks, found a new way with Blackberry today while she is singing her way through banana bread making. Jotted it down on the whiteboard after we'd talked about it so she can look at it when she wants to.

These are the moments where I can see they're learning! But all the gaps in between are full of those moments too. We've just said no telly for a week and I can sense the relief all around us. Just like when I cleared all the toys out of their room (needless to say its full again at the mo!! Everything ebbs and flows!)

We made bread on Saturday (wheaty even though we don't eat much wheat... its such a satisfying process and totally delicious to them - deprived of fully glutinous bread that they are the rest of the week!) Sunburst walked around the kitchen, his newly baked loaf wrapped in a tea towel "I love my bread, I love my bread". Going to see if Saturday works as a good day to do this each week.

Playing around with parental authority. I get so uncomfortable if we end up too far down the threats or demands route, though it would probably be helpful to come to some agreement with Papa Weststar about this. Its so obvious that Blackberry thrives on seeing how far she can push, so we end up positively draconian if we stand by our guns (about something we can just as well forget about!). Looking forward to exploring it more.

I understand the idea that children need parents to set boundaries and to be in charge, in control. But I don't see that this needs to negate their own sense of control, power and being in charge of themselves. There's so much give, take and sharing in our lifestyle, it feels total sense to work primarily on myself, my own reactions to incidents, letting the rest come.

And so day-to-day interweavings are in themselves pretty uneventful. And it is through this that I feel we've landed in home ed, we're preparing our little ones for life, day by day, moment by moment, mistakes, lightbulb moments, problem solving, the whole thing.

Activity city!

I have sat at many points on the opportunities seesaw. What opportunities do we want for our children? To fill them up with everything that comes our way, to install in them a religiousness to their attendance at skill-building workshops because they might need them one day? To have a chance to do the things we didn't do as kids?

I remember bending over backwards to give Elderflower the chance to try out 'toddler tennis' when she was 4 - Blackberry then 6, to school, Sunburst, then half a year or so into a friend's arms at home and we two would snatch this 45 minutes session in the school hall at 10am each Wednesday. I was at that time keen to 'fill them up' with stuff that sounded good. Well everyone else seemed to be doing it.

Blackberry tried an after school club for a few weeks too. Again, everyone else seemed to do it and this musical opportunity was being poured full of government money with young keen musicians leading the show. Picking her up at 5.00 I chivvied her along, oh it'll be fine come on, you'll enjoy being able to play the violin.

We've tried Rainbows too. It was great for a few weeks, then flop.

Do we lack backbone? No, I think we simply are letting them lead, trusting their decisions. It is quite a hassle getting them places, which I'm more than happy to do if the place feeds them. But if they don't like it why would we push it for now?

Rhythm

Every few months, the telly watching starts to crescendo upwards (from very little to a little if I'm honest!) - and it starts to feel like it takes over. I was talking with a Steiner teacher and it has renewed my enthusiasm to include the kids more in the house running, meals, tidying, sweeping etc. Like they always are, but to move things up a notch.

Back to the Simplicity Living book I think ( I'm good at reading half of books!) and on to the chapter on Rhythm, where things like this can be just part of the day. We don't need to wait til one of us is stressed and gotta tidy under duress, we simply add it in as a natural place on our day's cycle. Alongside scrubbing the wooden table, waxing the wooden drawers, stuff involving each of us in looking after the home.

Hang on maybe this is just about my housekeeping!

Maybe I've got a burst of sunshine as the kids get older where I'm able to see other jobs aside from the very basics that are covered in the first handful of years. Food, sleep, washing, bathroom, kitchen. That's about my repertoire. I remember just starting to care about the odd item of ironing before Sunburst was born (haven't got that back yet!) And veggy growing is up there in my daily tasks now :)

Some of the jobs I enjoy doing alone and use the TV option to enjoy time away from the kids for half hour or so. Gently challenging myself to see if there's still work to be done on that?

Have a friend, greatly admired, who's ditched toys with batteries. I have very little idea of how we came to have so many with batteries, I hate the things! L refers to Mother Earth and how batteries hurt her. Quite right! I enjoy this inspiration to stand by what I believe. Whilst I forgive myself for not having the energy to stand in the flightpath of mainstream culture all the time.

So there's these aspirations, TV-free, battery-free, clutter-free, busy little beavers, patching up the house like the birds in Snow White...!

And then there's what we've got. A real house with real people and some pets. Some crap (naturally!) but a fairly steady flow of stuff being passed on. Some times where we all spontaneously help each other. Cleanliness never too far away. Some TV used when tiredness or overwroughtness sets in, or when there is a quality programme to be enjoyed. Youtube used for answering questions.

Its good to have aspirations but ladling in the compassion not to look too far out of my sights.

I'm getting addicted to this home ed malarchy

I don't wish to be boring, but it really grows on me this lifestyle. I was reflecting the other day about relationships with siblings and how the school style of splitting off the age groups immediately starts us off not really knowing our family. By the time I was born, both my brother and sister were in school and my sister and I were never in the same building even my whole schooling career. My brother, with such vast differences in the peer influences four years apart were not seen to converse at school or in front of friends.

This is just one of the reasons why for me the education system is not acceptable anymore. If it gets in the way of natural growth and alliances, then no thank you. We've been trying the same way as a culture for soooo long. And it falls way short of the mark of preparing children for life. I don't mean to exclude or offend, I am calling from my corner of experience about what works for us.

And three children in a bedroom works for us. Low TV input works for us.
Talking through relationship issues, home difficulties works too.
Cooking, being involved in the running of the house makes sense.
Looking out for their individual jewels and polishing them feels wholesome.
Being with them as they grow is reassuring for us all.
Being the ones who are here to experience the breakthroughs, the magical moments as we learn about our world is life-affirming.

Heavens I'm going through a bit of a reflective one at the moment aren't I!
Me in relation to what has been the 'norm' perhaps, acceptance and forgiveness for the things I might like to have done differently myself at various points in my life.

I don't like being an outsider, still. But I don't like it enough to go back to school thats for sure. What we have feels rich, wholesome and quite simply do-able! Which for parenting is sometimes what it boils down to isn't it! I'd love to communicate that feeling of deep peace that what we are doing is just right for us all.

Gracefully Skint, Staying Confident

I can get all in a twiddle thinking which blog is which - is this just for home school stuff - do I need to be really clear about what I put on here?

And then I think of other Very Good blogs that I follow and think No! This is a blog about day-to-day life and reflections. Another place I write is Conjuring Lyrical and the distinction (kind of) is that I let myself loosen into creative flow more there, its less clear what I'm writing about.

So here, day to day, we are, financially speaking, on the ground. Floored, scraping the barrel, scratching around.
And yet, whilst that feels true some of the time, I also feel part of an abundant universe where I am very blessed. So I do get perspective on it when I can. I don't whine all the time!

Now I'm sure this is not down to home educating, though choosing to make the transition has been a full time job for both adults maintaining courage whilst buffeting each storm as we deschool. This wouldn't necessarily be the same for every family but it was for us. The transformations our lives have been through this last year have heartened and carried us a long way beyond the familiar frustrations of low-income life. Frugal Living and Voluntary Simplicity are two phrases I have learned describing ways that many people embrace this choice.

Maybe the painful moments are when I feel I'm not exercising a choice to be here, its all very well making the best of a situation and enjoying the benefits of both adults being largely at home but that can wear thin when its a struggle to buy the food for the week, petrol for the car etc. Always watching the figures, cancelling plans as the petrol prices continue to rise, imagining ways that I might ask for some help from relatives etc. All a bit dull!

My belief is that all is perfect: we draw to ourselves the situations and events that most help us evolve and grow towards the sun. Lots of learning, lots of growing. On the proactive, creative side, lets draw some strength from the anger and frustration when I feel I'm at the mercy of events or someone else's karma (is that even possible?!) - Own the Truth that we are here all together for whatever we need to learn and work through. Own the Reality that we have the money for what we truly want, its so easy to hide behind a 'we can't afford it' line, when really if we wanted it enough we'd make it happen.

I love being more home based. Its scary sometimes but it feels right. There is so much to do, feel and explore in the bosom of our hobbit hole. We don't have expensive tastes anymore which will no doubt be great when the money starts to flow a little more kindly, I grasp the value of items and services fairly acutely (please say I've learned that one now!) Our greatest expenditure bar the obvious is the decentest food we can find, local, organic, cooking from scratch, embracing our health as much as possible.

So I welcome this moment (have you noticed I write in affirmations when actually I want to grumble and whine? The next post might be the bitter twisted words that are getting pushed to the side now! or I'll save them for the sister site!) I welcome this very visceral experience of what Money has come to be, what we've made it as a global race. I trust that all is well and that we have everything we need.

How is this 'recession' or whatever we choose to call it affecting you and your family? What positive spins do you take on it when you can?

Love from Weststar, Gracefully skint, staying confident :)

The Girl Who Didn't Want to be Taught!

Introducing Blackberry, self-named pseudonym for my eldest girl who is now 8 and a half. Other name suggestions from other members of the family were Firestarter, Pathblazer, Doughnut, those of you who know us will recognise all of these I'm sure!

And so Blackberry indeed takes us along our parenting journey boldly, eyes wide open. She confidently announced to a neighbour 'I'm Never Going Back to School!' this morning (she speaks her heart in the moment without cause for thought). And indeed in the whole year we've been doing this, even in the hardest moments she's never looked back to formal education.

And yet she has been the bane of our life at times as we pull our hair out (both trained teachers!) in bewilderment of well what Do you want to learn then?

Her gift to us all has been the realisation that we need not 'Teach' her anything. She is an intrepid explorer, experimenter, researcher. The teaching goes both ways, the learning is universal. Whilst we navigate the path towards respectful communication and ways to make sure all our needs are met within our family unit, we uncover basic skills for life and development.

This evening she watched a documentary with her Dad. She soaked up information about elements and stars with such joy that we will doubtless be talking about this together for days. As she settled down to sleep it was with the security and trust of someone who is being given the space and responsibility to seek out her own map of the world, manual for life.

I find myself daily finding a deeper trust that children learn the skills and information needed for their growth into adulthood wholly when they are ready. Each stage presents itself symbiotically, we need not fret about whether they will know all they need to know (though of course as responsible and loving parents we do fret and check ourselves regularly!)

When the need (to know something) arises, so too does the desire and thirst to find out. Blackberry reaches out and gets what she needs, it is her nature.

S l o w down!

It is nearly a year since we were last in school!
And things have settled, we have all agreed to carry on for another year which feels great. I feel the first full breaths of really accepting home ed as part of our lifestyle.

Thoughts from this week are about there being No Rush.
And, not unsurprisingly it links to a lot I have to say about safe birthing (here's where to find my breechbaby blog). Our lives unfold, our children grow and learn, opportunities come and go, anxiety can come and go too. If we push, we don't go any faster. What's that phrase: Less Haste More Speed...

Nothing needs to be decided in a hurry. Everything has its moment. The world may like us to think that every second is a crucial pivotal moment. Whenever I fall into that trap, I find panic! I prefer the heartfelt truth that there is always time to breathe, to come back to base and to listen to whats next.

No room for school!

I want more photos on this blog! I guess thats up to me isn't it! Still only just managing to weave the writing on the blog let alone make it as attractive and colourful as some of my blog sister sites (I have totally made this phrase up but it is how I have come to find this late night blog surfing)

Today I got a job! 21 hours variable shift work, fairly low paid but something I wanted ~ with elderly folk ~ new skills and new beginnings all round. We will be threading it into our home ed lifestyle and I have every trust that it will fit in well, shifting us towards supporting ourselves financially. We are only now learning to earn our bread after a combined formal education of forty years, I trust our journey will put us in good stead to model this essential skill for our kids.

We recently stayed with good friends where I had a trial run at home educating whilst doing school runs for my niece. It was too much for me! Sure, one or the other, but both was too much. One of the beauties and central bonuses of the home ed lifestyle for me, is the honouring of natural cycles. Of letting the day unfold, play its course and then curl up to bed.

I have never been a great fan of the clock, and then when adding children to the mix it surely went out the window. Try explaining to a 2 year old that the clocks have gone back and bedtime is at a different time today it just never washed with me. Biorhythms, dips and rises in the humidity, heat, moon phases, these are the nuances to our days. Our routine is structurally sound but moves as a fractal not a machine.

I know this will not wash with my new employer! And clocks are great for meeting up with others, not to mention their clever mechanics and maths opportunities! Maybe its just 9 and 3 I struggle with! Perhaps 7.30 and 12.30 would suit me better, where have our individual choices gone?!

I think that for Elderflower it is one more year all together with no flexischooling; we will of course check this through with her, but we've already giggled together that with our current timetable there is no room for school! I know myself well enough to know that it is better to do one thing well than to try to do many things half-cocked. One home ed group in particular is flourishing, building these relationships is where I am at.

I commit myself to more natural unfoldings, to including our children in their own growth and development, to listening to their needs and the advice and inspiration of other families, to trusting myself as my child's guardian and nurturer.

Bring it on! Next year's gonna be great!!!

Creativity Silence

Its been all about logistics again this last couple of weeks. I'm not sure I've presented or chased a particular 'learning topic' in all that time. I have a sneaky feeling that this has not affected the amount thats been learned or explored by the Weststar Twiglets (collective pseudonym....!)

Thanks for the reminder Motherfunker about the shifting waves of home ed. Even though I don't feel there's anything to chart for this last fortnight (although of course if I focus and type it down, they'll be reams of information explored), I know that it is all Good Work!! Its all phemonenal. She said, he said, manoeuvring round each other, listening, feeling, finding, trying.

Its simply not quantifiable in a box ticking kind of way - though as an RE teacher hasbeen, I know that spiritual/emotional development rarely is! Knowledge growth, skill building is hard too, there's no set way of learning. How many times do you think your recipient is not listening only to find out they have a total grasp of whats being said and can take it leagues forwards when you least expect it?!

I can feel its good though and thats a nice feeling, I acknowledge that however irrationally, I intuitively know that we're growing and learning around here at the perfect pace for us.
How do you know when its been a good week? Do you chart it or mark it in any way?

I am looking forward to the next time some creative ideas come my way of activities and focuses for us to dance with. But I'm just accepting that these couple of weeks have not been like that, as with the flow, the ebb, one can not exist without the other.

Muuuum, Dad said we could.......

Co-parenting whilst home educating often amplifies the life skills being learned as we scale our learning curve. Our life coach has just published her monthly digest, Fruitful: One page of which was this on couple's coaching. I know that we're getting stronger and stronger as a couple, but I wonder if its going to take us longer to deschool ourselves (any excuses why we're still unravelling after nearly the whole first academic year has passed!) because we're bouncing off each other a lot of the time.

Where I might put a strategy or a rhythm in our day if it was just me and the kids, there's a whole other adult to weave around. And the same vice versa. At present, (nearly) everything needs seconding by the other. It can be a relief when the other adult goes out and we become a one (wo)man band for a bit. I trust as our enterprise and employment possibilities progress this will be more and more the norm. We've been alongside (and under) each other's feet for 3 years now.

I very much believe, things are as they are as part of a greater scheme - 'We're not to know' my much-loved aunt would say to me to help comfort when all seemed inexplicably messy! My husband and I are learning masses, growing as individuals and parents as we consistently bounce off each other and learn how to be with an other. Its all practice.

Whilst the progress might feel slow in this new lifestyle, it is likely that having done the hard bit of learning how to work together initially we will be on solid ground for the future when work comes in and things starts changing again. The techniques we have learned to help us communicate and act in assertive, compassionate ways is truly weaving the life we want for our family.

How do you do it? Single parenting, co-parenting, full time, part time, how do your lives ripple in and out of the wholesome tapestry with the kids?

Full Life Living Our Choices

Sitting in the car today with my son, a feast of opportunities around us. Again finding that less is more. I used to find car journeys great for conversation in my family growing up - somehow the lack of distractions gave fertile ground for real comments on life, how we all were as individuals for example. Little (we're yet to come up with his pseudonym) has always been happy sitting in the car seat, whether or not the car is moving, he has a feeling of going somewhere, a reassuring sense of journeying.

Today was the last day for one of their groups, quite happily coming to the end. Its a great group, with great tutors but too much money for us at present and life just feels so busy again. Can it really be as busy as it was at full time school? It certainly feels it! When the kids came out of the local schools today I felt like the day was only just beginning, our commitments and arrangements continue into the evenings, the kids fall into their beds replete and satisfied. Fullness. Thats how life feels at the moment. Wow, I love that.

And yet the flip side of fullness is when the simple things start slipping, where getting to the next appointment takes precedent over respectfulness within the family, or attention to the basics of our living space. So I happily let some things go (be they possessions, thought patterns or outside commitments) safe in the knowledge that we are full. Thats not to say I'm flakey. Far from it, I take our relationships gladly and seriously :) But I'm no longer packing the meet-up dates in, fretting about socialisation, or responding to every cry out for this friend or that friend. Even an empty day in the diary will be full of breath, life, stillness and movement in constant flow and balance.